One of the most important aspects of any marriage is communication. Since individuals have different ways of expressing themselves, communication can get lost in translation, causing friction in some marriages. Here are 5 tips to help you and your spouse communicate in a more productive manner.
- Express yourself in a calm fashion. Becoming too emotional while having a discussion with your spouse can turn into a tumultuous argument and can get in the way of expressing yourself in an effective way. Walk away when your emotions become too heightened. Let your spouse know that you need to walk away to calm down so that you don’t become hurtful. Once you and your spouse have composed yourselves, begin the conversation again.
- Use “I” statements when expressing your feelings. Instead of blaming your spouse for how you feel, use “I” statements. For instance, instead of saying “you make me feel angry when you…” say, “When you…I feel angry and I wish that you would…” This form of communication is effective because it gets rid of the blame game and places the focus on your own feelings.
- Listen to your spouse. When having a discussion or argument, we tend to focus on our response instead of focusing on what the other person is trying to express. Don’t just wait in anticipation for your turn to express yourself, truly listen by reflecting what your spouse is saying. This shows your significant other that you understand how they are feeling. Once you truly understand what your spouse is communicating, then express your own feelings in response.
- Talk about your day, even the good times. Your spouse is your best friend so talk to him/her not just about the bad times, but about the positive aspects of your life too. Ask about his/her day as well by asking open-ended questions.
- Enjoy your time together. The monotony of everyday life can get in the way of your relationship with your husband or wife so make time to spend together. Go out on a date, take a class together or try an activity that neither of you have done before. Even cooking or doing chores together can be fun. Put on some music and dance while cooking dinner or cleaning the house. Make each other laugh on a regular basis. After all, you are best friends so enjoy each other!
Every marriage has its challenges, and you may not get each other’s styles of communication all the time and that’s okay. Making the effort to understand your loved one’s point of view can help move your relationship in the right direction. If you and your spouse need assistance with communication, we can help. Contact us at (954) 832-3602. We are located in Hollywood, Florida.
Alicia Emamdee is the author of the YA Romance novel, “Aloha Self-Esteem?” which is created specifically for teen girls and the challenges they face with regards to their self-esteem in our society today. Written as a love story, the book provides ways to help increase self-esteem and gain self-confidence.